TALKING TO YOUR TEEN
THE CONVERSATION
Next, gather your thoughts and sit down and talk with your child.  Be sure to have this conversation when both of you are calm and are not rushed for time.  Stay focused on the issues, and keep your emotions under control.

Tell your child what you have seen and how you feel about it.  List the  things you have observed that are causing you concern.   For example, make it known that you saw empty beer bottles in her car or found drug paraphernalia in his room.  Explain how your child’s behavior and appearance have changed and why that worries you.  Tell them you’ve noticed he or she has new friends you don’t know or don’t approve of.



Avoid yelling and name-calling, and instead, try to find out what is going on in your child’s life.  Ask him when he last used the drug.  Find out where he got it.  Ask him why he used it.  Was he curious?  Was he trying to fit in with friends?  Was he trying to numb his feelings?

Don’t be surprised if your child denies using drugs.  Don’t expect him or her to admit having any problems.  Your child may become angry or try to change the subject.

Remember that the goal is not to interrogate, but to listen and understand.  Let them know that (1) you are there for them, (2) you want them to be part of the solution, and (3) what you will do to help them.

Finally, review your family’s rules about drug and alcohol use and state the consequences (e.g. tightened curfew, loss of driving privilege, etc.) that you will enforce.		 FOLLOW-UP ACTIONS
It is essential to follow up your conversation with actions aimed at helping your child
  • Enforce any consequences you have set.
  • Monitor your child’s activities more closely, gradually loosening up your oversight as your child earns back your trust.
  • Make time for additional conversations with your child.
  • Get information and help from prevention and treatment specialists.  Here are some people who can guide and inform you: school counselors and student assistance professionals, school nurse, treatment professionals, employee assistance professionals, your family doctor or your child’s pediatrician, or your church pastor.
  • Ask your child if there is someone he or she would feel comfortable talking to—for example, a counselor or youth pastor.
  • Take your child to the doctor or talk to the school nurse about screening your child for drugs and alcohol.
  • Do NOT enable your child’s drug use by making excuses when he or she misses school or other functions because of drug-using behavior.
  • As a parent, be a responsible role model for your child.  Avoid illegal drug use, and if you drink, do so responsibly.

Research has shown that kids think of parent disapproval as the number one reason for avoiding drugs and alcohol.  As a parent, your actions matter.  When you suspect, or know, that your child has been drinking or using drugs, take action to stop it as soon as you can.  It may be the most important step you ever take.

Special to Grundy County parents: Looking for more information about dealing with adolescent drug and alcohol use? 
For more information, contact Cathy Guzik, Breaking Free Services Coordinator at (815) 260-7902, (815) 941-0724, or Fax: (815) 941-4934.

It is important for parents and caregivers to act quickly to investigate and intervene when they suspect a child is getting involved with drugs or alcohol.  First, learn as much as you can.  Visit www.TheAntiDrug.com or www.freevibe.com or http://www.stopalcoholabuse.gov for information on drug and alcohol use by teens.

To request additional information or resources on alcohol, tobacco and other drugs (ATOD) contact the NTTF Coordinator
pgoodwin@grundy.k12.il.us 
1320 Union Street • Morris, IL • 60450 • phone 815-941-3130 • fax 815 942-5384 • www.nttf.org